It has only been five days since I started this blog and already I have this scary feeling that I will never be able to keep up. I have always considered myself a woman never at a loss for words and I am certain that my friends would agree. But….all of a sudden I am sitting here staring at my computer screen and feeling helpless – no words, no topics, just blank! In my mind writing a blog would be fun. I have so many things rattling around in my head I thought it would be easy to drop them onto the page. Well, I have found it isn’t that easy, it’s scary.
I read somewhere that if you start a blog you really should write something on it regularly. Like, I guess, maybe every other day, twice a week? Once a week? It is scary thinking that at least once a week you have to write. That is very different from just writing whenever you want to, or feel like it, or are super inspired. It feels like a deadline. Pressure. Tension. Stress. I must pray harder that I’ll even remember to write something – once a week – maybe twice a week.
And then, there is this sense of failure. I hate thinking I have failed at something. That is scary. We are raised to be successful. I mean, your parents (well, at least mine) didn’t make a habit of telling you that they are so proud of you for being such a failure at ….you fill in the blanks. So, if I don’t make a deadline, can’t think of something to write, I have failed. Scary. Sad.
Finally, there are those 500 words. What if I don’t have 500 words? What if I write more? Well, God bless daughters – mine just told me I didn’t have to write all 500 words. Amen, amen! And, maybe you’ll forgive me if I go over 500 words – once it a while? Thanks and Peace!