Words from The Crone

I guess saying I am “Gone fishing” is not exactly accurate.  I may be fishing for some genealogical gem, but real fish, no!  Will be offline until at least December 1st, but who knows….I think they have internet access in the wilds of Connecticut and Massachusetts and I might just be tempted to blog.  Maybe….

Until then, everyone have a safe, happy, and healthy Thanksgiving.  And, while I may not be “Gone fishing,” I will be gone from my home base – taking my laptop with me however.  How did we ever live without computers and the internet?  Something to contemplate.  See you in a little over a week.

My step-father was a journalist and he would bring home five newspapers every day.  After supper we would all spread out in the living room and begin reading them.  We were a very well informed family!  I even learned words that my mother didn’t think I was ready to learn.  When I was about 10-years old, one night as I was reading, without looking up I asked, “What does ‘abortion’ mean?”  It was one of the few times my mother was speechless and I think her answer was something to the effect that she would tell me when I was older.  She never did.

 In those days when you picked up the paper the news was well, “new.”  You hadn’t heard any of the stories or heard any of the tragedies that occurred the day before or even as late as the evening before.  Sometimes the nightly broadcast news came up with a gem of a piece of news that was too late for publication in the print version of the news.  But, on average most of the news in the morning or evening paper was new news.  This was true up until recently.

 Thirsting for information in a more timely manner, I have signed up for the New York Times online as well as CNN streaming news.  Even AOL has streaming news but it is usually of the gossipy type about Hollywood’s who’s who in who’s bed.  CNN sticks to the more traditional news like where is Hilliary Clinton, or what is the first dog, Bo, (or is it Beau?) doing.  Or, where did Barack disappear to in the middle of the night?  The New York Times is well, The New York Times. The really great thing however, is that most of the internet news is almost in “as it happens” mode.  I go to bed knowledgeable of what happened up to about 9 p.m. that day.

Thus, when I pick up the morning newspaper I’ve already seen all of the national news online.  Even the local obituaries are online as they are filed at our www.delawareonline.com which is the electronic version of my paper The News Journal.  Which also means I can even get the local news about two hours, or less, after it happens.  And, sometimes I even get almost instantaneous news from Facebook.  It was from Facebook that I learned of the shooting of a policeman in Georgetown fifteen minutes after it happened.  And it is from Facebook that I can even get some of the Op Ed columns early on.

And yet, I still pay about $20/month to get that filled-with-old-news newspaper.  Why, I wonder?  Well, there are the comics to read and “Dear Abby” and the bridge column and my horoscope.  Important stuff.  But I think the real reason I still get the newspaper is to do the Cryptic Byword puzzle and the crossword puzzle.  I just haven’t figured out a way to write down those answers online yet.  (Sigh), maybe someday.

 As I was sitting watching TV with my soulmate we were having a conversation about something, the topic of which I now forget.  I turned to him and said, “If I could remember it long enough to write it down upstairs it would make a good blog subject.”  But, alas, it had vanished into that canyon of my brain where all things forgotten dwell.

 Forgetting is the worst part of getting old for me.  Oh, wait, I remember what we were talking about – it was about my socks.  I was sitting in the chair and my soulmate was on the sofa.  When I put my feet up on his lap I noticed that my right sock had slipped down to my ankle.  “Look,” I said, “I am officially old.  My socks are migrating down to my ankles like an old lady.”  We laughed, but somehow it wasn’t funny to me.  I suddenly felt old.  And then, I farted. 

Geez, I really am getting to be one of those smelly old ladies like what’s her name of Hallmark card fame.

 I’m getting cataracts, my hearing is impaired due to tinnitus, and to add insult to injury, my hair is thinning out on top of my head.  My one saving grace is that my hair is still actually mouse belly brown with only a hint of gray that is hardly noticeable.  And, my hairdresser wants me to color my hair to add “body.”  I know I need “body” in my hair, but I really need a complete “body” transplant.

 My “girls” are so far south they are playing footsies with the Emperor penquins, I lost my waistline ages ago, and my belly fat gives Santa a run for his money.  I have neuropathy in both legs and every once in a while my hands tingle.  Today, my chiropractor told me the bad news that I had DISH (Diffuse Idiopathic Skeletal Hyperostosis) – simply put, calcium deposits on my thoracic vertebrae.  The good news, he said, was that I was “old” and I wouldn’t suffer as long with it as say a 30-year old.  I mentally hit him (sorry, Jesus) because if I actually hit him my arthritic right hand would have hurt like the devil.

Well, I can put up with all these physical symptoms of getting old-er, but the forgetting part drives me nuts.  How is it that I can get up from my chair to go into the next room to…..what?  Get something, do something, who knows?  It goes out of my brain in a nano-second.  And remembering names – forget it.  I was never good with names anyway and now I’m worse.  Just this morning I thought of four things I wanted to tell my doctor at my next visit.  By the time I walked twenty feet to my desk to write them down I could only remember three. 

 Getting old really is as bad as the comics depict.  Getting old is not golden.  Seventy is not the new fifty.  And, I forget what else there is about getting old that I don’t like but, I do remember that I don’t like it.  Oh, yes, that card lady’s name is Maxine!

Upcoming Event for the LGBT Community:

The Episcopal Church in Delaware Welcomes you to
A Dialogue with and for the LGBT Community
Sat. Dec. 12, 2009 10 AM to Noon at
Christ Episcopal Church
So. State & Water Sts (GPS: 501 S. State St.)
Dover, DE 19903

Join members of the Episcopal Church in a discussion of spirituality
issues in the LGBT Community as we embark on a search for new
and innovative ways to minister to the faithful in the church and
to assist those who are seeking a faith family or an open dialogue
on these issues. There is no charge and a Continental breakfast
will be served. ALL ARE WELCOME!

For more information contact Jon Rania, Lay Ministry Assoc. at
Christ Church 302-734-5731 or e-mail jrania.christchurchdover@verizon.net

 Recently a small group of people, of which I am one, met to discuss several possibilities to gather the LGBT community and those who support them within the Episcopal Church.  One of our thoughts was to consider forming an Integrity Chapter in the diocese, or perhaps just a social group, or maybe both, or something new.  The upcoming dialog on December 12^th is to gather us all together to talk about what such a group might look like and how it would best benefit us.  This group is not only for people who are LGBT, but for all of us who support them and want an arena to be together in love and peace.  To explore our commonalities, share our stories, be loved, prayed for, and perhaps even be a voice in our diocese for lawful changes that will bring equality for all.  Please join us and help bring the Kingdom here and now where we will all enjoy the fruits of God’s great creation – equally.