Doesn’t exist. I grew up with Elizabeth Taylor of Hollywood stardom fame and to date she has had eight marriages to seven husbands. I raised my children with Erica Kane of All My Children soap opera fame and she has had more marriages than Liz. I think both of them are looking for the perfect man. He doesn’t exist.
Now I am old enough and wise enough to know that some men are just plain miserable husbands and a woman should never have married one of them in the first place. But they do. It is okay to divorce them in my book. And it is really okay to divorce them if they physically or emotionally abuse you. No excuse for that.
But I really feel sad for all those women out there looking for the perfect man. Some women marry one after the other like Liz and Erica, while others go through one boyfriend, significant other, or live-in mate after another never finding the perfection they seek. Most of them don’t even know what the perfect man would be anyway. How do I know this? Because these women leave one who is too attentive, or one who doesn’t help enough, or one who doesn’t appreciate the same things. The excuses go on and on, and will continue to go on because the perfect man doesn’t exist.
So girls, if that perfect man doesn’t exist what should we do? Personally, it is a matter of living with the “For better or for worse,” whether married, living together, or just hanging with a man. We all have our warts and bumps. My spouse has an unbelievably messy desk and I am a relative neat-freak. He is as stubborn as a mule but will do almost anything I ask. His driving drives me to being the ultimate back seat driver. I nag at this or that and he has learned to kick back. Darn. We’ve had our ups and downs, some serious, most not. We niggle and giggle and at the end of the day we go to bed loving each other more and more.
One morning I woke up and realized that not only doesn’t the perfect man exist –neither does the perfect woman! But if you can find a man who loves you in spite of your warts and bumps, keep him. If you can find a man who has the same basic values you have – keep him. If you can find a man who considers your wants and needs – keep him. If you find a man with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings – keep him. And, pray that he keeps you!
Learn to live with his warts because he is living with yours. Overlook them, pick out the beauty in that man, raise him up in love, and every single day tell him you love him. And when the wart is really bad like an affair, or lying, or humiliating you, well, then the best thing to do is to forgive him as he forgives you. We never forget those things, but they are in the past, can’t be changed, and hopefully everyone learns from them. You’ll never find a perfect man, but if you focus on the positive you’ll come close. I wonder if Liz and Erica will ever learn that nobody’s perfect!