My spouse and I are having an ongoing discussion on the dirty, grimy, nasty condition of his eye glasses. They are the big aviator kind with lenses forty times the size of his eyes and they consume one-quarter of his entire face. When I sit next to him and look at him I can see through the side of the glasses through a thick film of disgusting particulate collected over God knows how many months. I wonder how he sees anything. Maybe he doesn’t.
One morning, as I was cleaning my glasses (that happen to be small and attractive and only cover most of my eyes), I asked him if he would like me to clean his glasses. Annoyed he told me that he just cleaned them. “Just” I pondered? “How many months ago was that?” I asked sarcastically. “Yesterday,” he replied, “But, if you want to clean them again, be my guest.” I left the room. He followed me.
Then he went on to continue our regular discussion of what constituted “dirt” on a pair of glasses. Sigh, it was getting so old. “Well, I said, “You brush your teeth twice a day because of the moss that grows on them, and you should clean your glasses every day like I do, (think halo over my head).” He shot back “Moss doesn’t grow on glasses!”
Well, of course I had no valid response to that so, being a stubborn, outspoken, opinionated, old crone of a woman, I said, “Does too!” He walked out of the room! Done, I thought. Not. Two minutes later as we were sitting at the table having breakfast, he said, “Moss would only grow on the north side of glasses.” I smirked at him. Then he said, “Maybe it is lichen that you see on my glasses, not moss.”
Sitting there bantering on about moss and lichen and particulates was just more than my funny bone could take. My mental picture of lichen or moss growing on the north side of glasses just cracked me up and I began laughing and laughing and laughing. My spouse joined in and soon it was that wonderful, uncontrollable laughter when tears dribble down your cheeks, your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath, and you just can’t stop laughing. Finally, when you do manage to collect yourself you feel amazingly refreshed.
So who cares if he can’t see through his glasses. But, I did notice that he cleaned them up real good before he went off to his Council on Housing meeting! Hah!