Words from The Crone

It was such a bad day that I thought the world was going to end.  Well, not the whole world, but having just had my ego crushed, it felt like that.  You know, it was one of those days that you overheard someone say you were a “bitch” or “nasty” or “insensitive” or any of those negative things no one likes to hear about themselves.  It may even have been a face-to-face confrontation with someone letting you have it about some action or another that they didn’t like.  Sometimes it is a really cruel and nasty letter.  Usually, there is some truth and some untruth in any of these situations.  Usually, it takes us by surprise when we hear that we didn’t behave as expected by the person or by society.  Always, it hurts.

 Often our hurt comes from an infidelity or breach of trust.  Those times can often make us feel less of a person or lower our self esteem.  We despair, we blame ourselves, we try to make it better, we weep, we wonder, and we pray that it will all go away and get better.

 These times hurt us.  Sometimes we can brush them off as a misunderstanding, but other times the hurt goes deeper and it may take days, weeks, or months for that deep gash to our heart to heal.  Sometimes it never heals.  Sometimes there is hurt so deep it just sits there in the corner of our heart and pokes its head out on occasion, but never really disappears entirely.

 Many, many years ago, after experiencing one of those hurts, a wise, wise priest gave me a very good piece of advice.  “Make yourself a “Gratitude” folder,”” he said.  “And every time someone sends you a nice note, letter, or card that says you are wonderful, loved, appreciated, and cared for, put it in that folder.  Then when you’re feeling low or down or wounded, get out that folder and read every piece in it.”

That advice changed my life!  It made me a stronger person, able to weather the worst storm and come out the other side still feeling good about who I am and what I do.  Sometimes I just read a few of those pieces when I put a new one in the folder.  And, now I even have a “Gratitude” folder on my computer.

What do I do with those nasty letters?  Hah, I throw them away!  They aren’t worth re-reading or worth reopening an old scar.  They are only worthy of being forgotten.  Gratitude is much better and much, much more healing.  Try it!  It works!

It’s that time of year again when we gather with family and friends over a big feast and give thanks for our many blessings.  Of course, we all give thanks every day all year as the occasion arises as in “OMG, thanks so much for this gorgeous gift,” or “We are all so thankful that mom pulled through the surgery,” or “Thanks so much for the lift to work.”   I think it is in our human nature to give thanks for anything that blesses our life.  We Episcopalians say “Thanks be to God” on a regular basis.

However, on THE day that we know as Thanksgiving, I wonder why there are so many things for which I am not thankful.  Like the hours spent making stuffing for that poor bird we consume each year.  I looked at all those recipes that call for me to take some stale bread and cut it up into ½ inch cubes and make sixteen cups of them!  Then the four cups of celery to be diced, the onions to be minced, the nuts to be chopped, etc. etc. etc.  Four hours later I’m exhausted and we haven’t started peeling the white potatoes, sweet potatoes, turnips, or remembered to baste the turkey every twenty minutes for all day.  Not to mention making the three traditional pies: pumpkin, apple, and pecan – or is that pumpkin, mincemeat (never my favorite) and apple, whatever!  And, OMG, I forgot about making the cranberry sauce and mashing those potatoes hoping they will be perfect!  Yes, there are some things I am not particularly thankful for this day.

BUT – in all this, I am very, very thankful that I have all this food and have all this family to feed and have it served in a nice warm house with a TV to watch the games.  I am thankful to be living in a free country where I am not fearful of bombs or tyrants running my country.  I am thankful I wake up each morning and take a deep breath of fresh air and a drink of fresh water.  There are so many people in the world who don’t have these luxuries.  Yes, I am very thankful.  I hope you are too if you also enjoy such luxury and, I also hope that all of us will remember those in need and be thankful we can help. 

Happy Turkey Day to all!  Don’t eat too much!

 Wow!  I’m so glad it is some day other than election day.  I was really too uber focused on the candidates and voting and listening ad nauseam to all those political ads.  It was really a drain on my psyche and the part of my brain that processes such things.  But, now I can concentrate on other things of some importance. 

Today is National Writer’s Day, which until today, I never knew existed.  Did you?  And, you didn’t tell me?  Well, at any rate, the admonition is to simply “write” something today.  So I am.  I am going to write my blog here and mention some of the really important things on which I can now concentrate since the election is OVER!

The first really important thing is this pimple that suddenly appeared on the end of my nose.  Well, almost on the end, just a bit above it and to the left (the right if you are looking at me).  Where do such things come from, I ponder?  Why do we always get such things at exactly the worst possible moment?  In just six days I will be attending my Aunt’s 90^th birthday party with 124 other people who will now not see me at my best, but with this ugly, red, disgusting pimple on my nose.  It is even worse than a cold sore on your lip.  I do hope that those “hide your liver spots” make-up works.  Or maybe I could just hold my hand over it for the entire party.

The next really important thing I can now turn my attention to is all those chores I neglected while engaged in the election goings on.  Like the laundry, the ironing, getting my nails done, my hair cut, and answering all my email.  I can also take my time grocery shopping because I won’t be missing any political ads while I’m out.  Some of those ads were really funny this year and some of the debates were downright hysterical.  I mean really, you can’t make up the stuff I saw on TV during this past election cycle.  One candidate didn’t know that separation of church and state is in the Constitution.  Well, not those very words of course, but the intent is there.  Sad. 

So now, I’m off to do some other important things like vacuuming the worms off my bedroom ceiling.  Yes, I have ½ inch worm larvae crawling around my ceiling and only God knows what evil flying thing got into my house and laid some eggs there.  They hatch at a rate of three to four a day and I have no idea how many more eggs are up there.  So, it is now important for me to go spray my ceiling with bug spray and hope that I kill those miserable creatures before any more hatch.  Sigh.  So many important things to do today, but at least I did honor National Writer’s Day.

 My Aunt Alice will be 90-years old in two weeks.  Her two sons are throwing a big birthday bash for her with over 100 people attending.  I can’t wait as I just love a good party.  I have put together her parent’s genealogy and a genealogy book of our family for this occasion.  I have also put together a 3-foot by 2-foot poster of her parent’s 137 descendants and another smaller poster of her ancestors, back several generations.

 The invitations for this soiree were sent out about four weeks ago with an RSVP date of November 7^th.  That’s day after tomorrow!  My cousin, Jerry, emailed me that he had not yet heard from a number of our cousins and was getting anxious.  I was a bit surprised by the fact that my closest cousin, Doug Murphy, and none of his family had responded as yet to the invitation.

 Being the Type A person that I am, I told my cousin, Jerry, that I would email them with a reminder, which I did immediately.  Here is the reply that I received from him about an hour and a half later:

 Rita,

You have Divine clout. I have already received email from Julie and then a call from Doug…So magic lady, I have not heard from Janet or George Crabb.

Jerry

 Well, I have not received that kind of high praise in while.  And, it was kind of fun having “Divine Clout.”  It reminded me of the movie “Bruce Almighty,” and then I began to wonder if divine clout might not also be some kind of curse.  Such high expectations.

I also thought being considered a “Magic Lady” was fun, but somehow “Divine” and “Magic” seemed at each end of the celestial poles.  I guess one appeals to my godly side and the other to that little bit of devil we all have in us! 

Well, after I received that message I called Janet and got her machine.  She is a bit of a recluse and it is difficult to get a hold of her.  But, I also called cousin George and he was on the golf course about to play a round of golf.  We chatted and he told me he and his wife would be at the party and that they were just about to send in their response!  Of course, I immediately emailed cousin Jerry because I didn’t want to lose my status of “Divine Clout” and “Magic Lady.”